Mom: I'm un-friending you on Facebook. My profile is going to be strictly for work.
Me: Wait til I tell everyone, "my mom un-friended me on Facebook, can you believe it?!" This is gonna be great.
Mom: Oh jeez.
Me: Why are you calling me at 5 in the morning?
Mom: We're leaving for my surgery, you wanted me to call you.
Me: OH! I thought you meant 5 at night.
Mom: No, you crack head.
Mom: There's a girl jogging this early, she's a crack head too.