Saturday, October 9, 2010

Glee How I Love Thee, Let Me Count The Ways

After this weeks amazing Kurt Filled episode of "Glee", I didn't think things could get better, with Kurt's emotional version of the Beatles "I Want to Hold Your Hand" I was at an all time high. That was, until I found out "Glee" will be doing an entire episode of music from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show."

My head about exploded through the roof at this wonderful news. I have been a huge Rocky Horror fan since high school when one of my friends took me to see the show performed live as an early birthday present. In a way this show kind of made me confront my sexuality. You may be scratching your head in curiosity so I'll explain.

The first time I saw "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" I wondered why I found a guy who cross dresses hotter than any other guy I had ever seen/met before. I was about 15 at the time and had never had a crush on a guy or been even remotely interested in dating one. So I asked my self that very question until I came up with a possible answer, "maybe it's the clothes?"

I've always approached things very analytically, and so through the process of elimination I determined that it had to be the lingerie and make-up, because Tim Curry without them was not attractive at all in my mind. I began to put the pieces together, women wear lingerie, and women also wear make-up, hmmmm.

After that, I allowed myself to start to open up and ask the question I refused to even think about before, "What if I'm attracted to women?" The town I grew up in was extremely conservative so living in a place with that kind of mind set it rubbed off, and as a young teen I was very conservative. It took moving nearly halfway across the country to a bigger city with far more culture to learn that being gay wasn't the end of the world. And even then, it didn't happen all at once, it took time to even work up the courage to confront the very idea of being gay.

By the time I asked myself that major question, I had joined my high school girls basketball team and came in contact with what I thought was my very first lesbian, in the form of my basketball coach. After that there was no avoiding it, because at the end of the season, unless I'm forgetting somebody, of the 8 girls on the Varsity team 3 were gay, 1 was Bi and then there was me, straddling the fence (heh, straddling), not knowing where I belonged. So essentially the majority of the team was gay and I couldn't hide from it anymore.

I tested the waters with my mom and gave her the "I think I might be bi" speech. I was 16 by that point and still didn't know if I was gay. The problem was I certainly found women far more attractive to men, but I never really had any kind of emotional feelings toward a girl. A few months later a new girl was hired in at my work and I developed a pretty strong crush and I knew for sure. I was totally gay. I came out to my mom, ("Mom, I'm gay." "So?") not too long afterward.

So in my mind "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" will always have massive amounts of my love for helping a once entirely closeted teenage girl eventually discover a pretty important part of herself.

As such, I cannot freaking wait until episode 5 of "Glee".

No comments: