Saturday, August 6, 2011


It always comes as a surprise whenever I am asked out, or asked for my number by a guy. I think it's because I know I'm gay and I assume everyone else does as well. I don't hide it and I certainly don't deny it. I'm definitely not the brand of gay girl that likes to flirt with the boys, to me flirting is like a prelude for more, and there is no way I would be preluding anything with the male variety.

Tonight, I was on my way to a movie with a friend from work and needed to stop for gas. It was one of the rare times I had cash on me so I headed inside to prepay for the pump. As I'm walking up I wasn't really paying any attention to the person I was walking behind until he noticed I was behind him and held the door to the gas station open for me. I smiled and thanked him politely as I stepped inside.

From the way he was holding the door open from the inside for me, he was still angled closest to the register so I was going to let him go first. He waved his arm and told me to go ahead and this time I smiled and thanked him out of surprise. I paid for the gas and headed back outside and started pumping it when I noticed the guy walk to the car next to mine. I went back to watching the pump meter when I heard him say something and turned to look when I realized he was talking to me.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I asked him.

"Your gas, I would have pumped it for you if I knew you were going to do it yourself," he repeated again.

I raised my eyebrows in genuine surprise at such an old fashioned comment. And while the feminist in me would never have allowed it, I appreciated the thoughtfulness of his remark at the same time.

"How chivalrous of you," I said as I chuckled lightly. "Thank you anyway."

He took a step toward me and held out his hand. "I'm Mike."

"Nice to meet you Mike, I'm Amanda." I returned his hand shake.

"So can I call you some time?"

Surprised again, even though I should have seen the signals by then. I hesitated for a split second, trying to figure out a way to let him down nicely because I already liked him for his politeness. So I said the first thing that came to my head.

"Sorry but I'm already seeing someone." I always feel guilty after turning someone down, but I have found the easiest way of doing it is telling them you're seeing someone else so they feel you have a legitimate reason for saying no, rather than just saying no to them. Honestly, I rarely if ever say it's because I'm gay. 1) It opens up a whole other can of worms and 2) I can usually make a quick getaway if I just stick with the "seeing someone" comment.

"You are? That's too bad," he replied.

By that time I was done pumping my gas and as interesting as things had been I needed to get going because my friend was already waiting for me at the theater, Re: quick getaway. I said good bye and drove off. On the way to the theater I tried to evaluate what could have encouraged him to ask me out. I wasn't wearing anything out of the ordinary, a light Columbia jacket, jeans and Converse. My hair was just in a pony tail and I didn't have any make-up on.

In the end the only conclusion that I could come to was that he took my politeness as potential interest.

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