On Fridays my little cousin normally comes over and while I was at the grocery store I was pondering what to make for dinner for her and I. Considering it's a Friday night, naturally my first thought was pizza. But I pushed that aside thinking, we do that too often.
So I was left with a thought, how do you one up the food of all foods? The best of the best? I mean really, you can't get any better than pizza for a 7 year old. What should I do?
And then I had a moment of genius...
You miniaturize it!
Mini pizzas. Fuck. Yeah.
The only way to make something better that can't already be improved upon is to make it smaller! And if I see you shaking your head over there I would like to point you to the frozen food section where you can get everything miniature. Mini corn dogs, mini tacos, mini ice cream bites, and don't let yourself get hung up on the word "mini".
Anything with "personal" in front of it is just a way of saying "we took this giant ass lasagna and made it small enough for just you to eat without having to invite an army over to finish it." See what I mean? Mini.
So I was left wondering how to make mini pizzas. Luckily for me, my mom bestowed me with enough culinary skills to kind of guess. I did a process of elimination, the hardest part was figuring out what to use for the crust, it was a toss up between bagels and english muffins, and bagel bread seemed too thick so english muffins it was!
Next stop, the do-it-yourself pizza section. You know the one, where they hang all of those gross looking pre-made crusts that can only taste like chalk and rubber mixed together, next to the jars labeled "Pizza Sauce" that look suspiciously like the jars two isles over labeled "Spaghetti Sauce".
Then I grabbed a bag of mozzarella cheese and a bag of pepperoni (I found ones that were mini pepperoni! Hey, it was a mini kind of day) and I was out the door.
I get home and my aunt and uncle drop my cousin off and we get to work making our own pizzas.
1 bag of Mozzarella Cheese
1 box of Thomas English Muffins (don't go cheap here, get the good brand)
1 jar of pizza sauce
And pizza toppings of your choice, keep in mind though you can only fit so much on after the sauce and cheese.
-Preheat oven to 350 F
-Cut the muffins in half and spread them evenly on a cookie sheet. I found that six halves fit comfortably on a standard sized sheet.
-Layer your ingredients on the muffins, sauce first, then cheese, then toppings.
-Put the tray in the oven for exactly 10 minutes. If you like your crust really crunchy leave it in for 2 more minutes max or the english muffin crust will start to burn.
And Voila! You have yummy mini pizzas and you're fist bumping with your little cousin for being the Betty Fucking Crocker of mini pizza making.
I think these just became my new favorite thing to make because clean up was a piece of pie, put the spoon you used for the sauce and the cookie tray in the sink and you are DONE.
Guess what I'm having all week?