Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Gay Card: Revoked

Tonight, at work, while I was cleaning up to go home, I got to joking around with one of my Nerd Herd guys. I knew from day one that he's gay, but the big shocker was that apparently he didn't know I'm gay too. Until tonight.

The following tomfoolery ensued:

"Dude, what's up with these laptops on my counter? I'm trying to clean up here."

"Oh," he responded, "we were working on those earlier."

Jokingly I said in my best Cali-girl attitude voice, "Um, what are they still doing here then? I need them gone, like, yesterday!"

"Excuuuuse me, but we were just too busy to be bothered." Then he gave me a dirty look while he put them on a cart.

"Don't mess with me, Diva. I will take you down," I said as I snapped my finger at him.

He stopped and turned and said, "you want to see Diva? This, is Diva." And then he went into full-on Diva snap mode.

Needless to say I was practically on the ground I was laughing so hard. After I was finally able to catch my breath I managed to choke out, "you got me there. My snap was nothing compared to yours."

"Well, you kind of have to be gay or black to pull off the snap."

"Still," I said, wiping away tears from laughing so hard, "we lezzies have nothing on you gay boys."

Long pause.

And then he responds with, "I did not see that one coming."


"You're gay?"

"Of course I'm gay," I said surprised. "You seriously didn't know that?"

"I've never seen you at the [Insert local gay bar here]"

"I rarely ever go."

At this point we went into discussion of different topics, the LGBT center at the University, gay comedians we liked, until inevitably we got around to talking about musicals.

"Have you seen Spamalot?" He asked.

"No, I'm not a fan of Monty Python."

"Avenue Q?"



Sigh, "no."

"Gay card, revoked."

"What?!" I gasped. "You can't revoke my gay card just because of that. I've been dying to see Wicked I just haven't had the chance yet."

 "Your status is still revoked."

So that is how I lost my gay card tonight. Then again, everyone's reaction to me coming out as gay is always with surprise so it's not like I really had it anyway. I think it's time to break out the "No one knows I'm a Lesbian" t-shirt. I'm getting tired of flying under the radar, it's a total drag.

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