One Dog For Sale

Anyone want to buy a dog? Name your price and she's yours! She's great with kids, has never bitten or shown aggression of any kind, loves being pet for hours and is a faithful companion on long walks. What's the catch, you say??? There's no catch, why would you think there's a catch? Did someone tell you there was a catch, who was it? Huh?! WHO TOLD YOU THERE WAS A CATCH????? Oh alright, here's the catch...SHE FUCKING CHEWS THROUGH EVERYTHING!

In the last two, almost three, months that I have had Coda she has chewed through my favorite pair of shoes, a cord for my only living room lamp, my ether-net cable, the battery charger for my camera, the charger for my cellphone, countless papers and napkins, the trash, a pair of jeans that fell out of my laundry basket, my dish sponge, not to mention Jesus' head and her bath towel.

But today was the last straw. She pushed me one step too far this morning. Usually in the morning, Coda and I have a routine. We wake up, I let her outside while I take my shower and get ready for work and by the time I'm done she's ready to come back in. This morning though, things deviated from our regular routine. My alarm went off and I got out of bed, but Coda didn't get up like she normally does so I figured she didn't have to go outside yet. I think nothing of it and hop in the shower and leave her to sleep some more. When I get out of the shower and change into my work clothes I see that Coda is up and about now so I ask her if she has to go outside and I get a tail wag in response so I know that's a yes. We head downstairs and that's when I see it.

Coda had chewed through the cord of my brand new vacuum. The brand new vacuum that I have used three, count them, one, two, THREE, times since I got it. And that was it, that was the last straw that broke the camels back. I saw red, and Coda new instantly that she was busted big time.

I was really quite disappointed that she had done that because I am not the type of person that likes to lock a dog up when I'm gone, growing up we always had dogs that roamed the house while we were gone and so I feel guilty when I leave and she has to be put in her cage. And with how well she had been doing the past month I was ready to give her that chance again, but then she blew it and now she has to stay locked up while I'm at work or taking a shower. Le sigh, why do I feel like the bad guy when she's the one that ruined my vacuum?? Dumb dog.